“In my place, most parents would hope the whole thing goes away, or pray that their sons land on their feet soon enough,” Mr. Perlman says. “But I am not such a parent. In your place, if there is pain, nurse it, and if there is a flame, don’t snuff it out, don’t be brutal with it. Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night, and watching others forget us sooner than we’d want to be forgotten is no better. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of 30 and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything—what a waste!”
昨天看了call me by your name,今天翻开豆瓣,想把这段结尾父亲的话贴到评论上,但是怎么改都超过字数,于是便想到了这里。
已经很久没有看这种青春片了,很多年以前,我也跟他一样敏感脆弱,每天被困在自己的小世界里,外面的每一个声响,每一个眼神细节都会在自己的世界里放大无数倍,反复琢磨,把自己越磨越渺小。从来也没人像这个爸爸那样跟我说,其实不应该去忘记,去压抑,get brutal with it。要是很多年以前,有这样的对话发生过,我大概会更自信,更勇敢,也会更完好一点吧。
这大概又是一部可以放在“我小孩要看的电影”list里面的片子了。待到我成了一个语无伦次的长辈的时候,一切说教大概都要拜托这些导演们来完成了,就像现在他们于我一样。
说说最近:
新一轮的H1B终于又开始了,猪的appeal还是了无音信。我们一边准备后路,一边也只能尽量安慰自己。我开始拼了命的上班,拼命努力,对我来说,每一天都像是在这里的最后一天,想要尽快尽早学到全部。真正是被政府逼出来的勤奋。
开始因为签证变得越来越盲目,觉得宇宙中心就是要让自己有一个屋檐可以安置,每天担惊受怕明天会怎样,甚至不知道2个月以后自己会在怎样的处境里。这大概是最最stress的一段时间。figure crossed。
